Shopping at PCC

Yesterday I went to the PCC for a few items – first among them peanut butter.

They had been out of my brand of yogurt for like two weeks, but now they had it, and there was a small crowd gathered around the refrigerator. I realized they were all after the same brand of yogurt as me, and that if I didn’t get a tub right away, they were going to be sold out soon and I would miss out. So I started coughing very loudly as I charged the crowd. Everyone scattered and I grabbed two tubs, smiling at everyone to let them know I really appreciated them letting me cut the line.

I got a couple more things, placed them in my cart, and them it was time to get the peanut butter. But as I turned into the isle, there were four employees restocking various things. They each had a wheelie cart full of boxes, and were spread the length of the isle making it completely impeccable. But I really needed the peanut butter. I tried my coughing trick, but the employees just ignored me – especially one woman, tall with wavy brown hair who  really ignored me hard.  I tried shoving my cart into a stack of boxes, I tried asking nicely if they would let me get to the peanut butter section, but what ended up working was me faking a medical emergency. I caused such a scene that the employees and few few other customers gathered around me as I lie on the floor clutching my chest and moaning.

“What can we do for you?” somebody said.

I looked up, and through the fake pain I said, “Peanut butter, I really need peanut butter.”

Someone down the isle shouted, “Which kind?”

“CB’s Original!” I called back, and a jar was passed from person to person down the isle until I had it in my hand. I got up, put the jar into my cart, thanked everyone, and walked off to the cash register, for my shopping was now complete.