Bluebird

It was a really hot day and Matt was relaxing in a lounge chair in his back yard listening to an audiobook with his eyes closed behind dark shades. It was a good book. He was comfortable and his mind weaved in and out of the story, and floated in utter contentment in the warm sunshine. He was happy and life was good. So it took him a minute to realize that a bird was chirping nearby.

Once he did realize it, he couldn’t concentrate on his audiobook anymore. He pushed the pause button, took out his earbuds and set them on the arm of the lounge chair. The little bird was a brilliant blue and sat at the end of a nearby branch, and seemed to be chirping at him. “What a beautiful little bird.” he thought. It’s chirp was very happy sounding, and was almost like a teeny-tiny little bit of laughter. Matt took off his sunglasses and set them on the table next to him, watching the beautiful little creature, who was now excitedly dancing and bobbing at the end of the branch. It was an amazing display and he was mesmerized.

Matt made a lame attempt at a chirping sound, and to his surprise, the bird suddenly flew down from his branch and landed at the end of the lounge chair, right next to his foot. Matt froze, but inside he was doing cartwheels. This was SO cool! His new feathery friend danced his dance and chirped his happy laughing song. Then one tiny hop at a time, the bird started getting closer and closer to Matt’s adoring face. His heart was racing. Then, just as it got close enough he could have reached over and patted it on the head, it suddenly jumped up, took one of Matt’s earbuds in its beak:, and flew back up to the branch.

This was kind of cute, but also kind of annoying. Trying not to startle it, Matt stood up and tried to coax the little bird to drop the earbud. “Come on little buddy, drop  the earbud,” he said and held his hand up. But the bird just hopped around on the branch singing his happy little song, which wasn’t sounding quite as happy now. “Come on little friend, just drop it here.” But the bird just taunted him and danced around. “Shit.” he thought. Somehow he had to get the bird to drop the earbud without flying off with it.

He wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but he had to do something. He looked around and picked up a leaf. “Here you go, I’ll trade you this leaf,” he said. The bird’s response was a teeny-tiny laughing jig. This was not working and he looked around for something else. He found a fist-sized rock. “Give me the earbud and I won’t throw this rock at you!” he said. Still the bird refused to drop it. Matt carefully took aim. The throw had to be hard enough to knock the bird completely out, not just startle it. Matt pursed his lips and threw the rock hard at the bird. He missed by several inches and the rock went whizzing passed the bird, sailed through the air, and crashed through the second story window of his house. He could hear the sound of his very expensive computer monitor tumbling off his desk and onto the wooden floor. His heart sank.

The rock didn’t faze the bird at all, but the sound of crashing glass and all the commotion inside sure rattled it, and it flew off towards the front of the house. Matt ran through the wooden gate and around to the front. There was no sign of the bird, or the earbud. Matt started thinking about how much damage a fist-sized rock could do in his office. “Fuck.” he thought.

Just then he heard a happy little sound directly behind him. He turned and there was the bluebird on his front porch with the earbud in its beak. As soon as their eyes locked, the bird launched and flew straight at his face. Matt ducked and the bird flew to a small tree right next to the street, and landed on a low branch. Matt walked slowly toward it with his hand out.

“Come on little guy, let me have it,” he said. But the bird just watched as Matt got closer and closer. Finally, just as his fingers were inches away, the bird hopped into the air and flew across the street. Matt chased after it, and ran into the road at the exact second a Tesla silently rocketed down the street. Bam! He slammed into the hood, crashed into the windshield, bounced twenty feet into the air, and landed flat on his back in the middle of the pavement.

Several hours later Matt stood in the doorway to his back patio. “Jesus fucking Christ.” he said. He had a plaster cast around his ribcage, another one around his knee, a bandage around his head, and had lots of cuts and scrapes everywhere. He was afraid to take the painful journey up the stairs to see the damage in his office.

Just then, the bluebird appeared, flittered down from a tree and landed on the arm of his lounge chair, the earbud in its beak.  The bird carefully set the earbud down next to the other one, then flew back up to a branch. Matt couldn’t believe his eyes.  He slowly and painfully made his way across the patio and picked up both earbuds. He held the earbuds in his hand and looked at the bird.

He and the bird stared at each other for several long seconds, and then the bird flew from the branch across the yard and up to the edge of the gutter at the corner of the second floor, and started singing a happy tune. Matt realized he had landed right next to his sunglasses, which were perched at the edge of the gutter.

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” he said.