The Adventures of Kuzoo and Slim

Except for a minor genetic twist of fate, Kuzoo was normal in every possible way. He was average height , average weight, had a plain sounding voice, and laughed at all the same jokes as you and me. Even though he was exceptional, Kuzoo wanted more than anything to fit in. But because of nature’s 1ittle trick, he was destined to live a very different life, a life that normal people can’t even begin to imagine. And that’s because he was born with a very dangly defect. The tip of his nose drooped well past his chin, and wiggled and shook like jello when he talked, and it bounced around wildly when he laughed. Kuzoo was ridiculously silly looking, and there was nothing he could do about it, because scissors had yet to be invented.

This did give Kuzoo a unique ability: he could make people stop whatever they were doing and start laughing. Everywhere he went people stopped what they were doing and laughed at him. It was his superpower, and he tried to always use it for the good of humanity.

One day Kuzoo was out for a walk, spreading good cheer everywhere he went. As he rounded a corner, he caught sight of something spectacular. There was a guy walking toward him that had enormous ears that flapped in the breeze. Kuzoo laughed and laughed. What made the guy even funnier looking was that when he got excited, like when he saw Kuzoo’s crazy nose, his giant ears started beating like the wings of some demented prehistoric bird. Kuzoo literally fell over laughing, and rolled all over the ground. This was the silliest thing he’d ever seen.

The guy, who was dressed in a suit and tie and wore little round glasses, leaned in. “Hello there, I’m Slim.”

Kuzoo held out his hand, “I’m Kuzoo, damn glad to meet you.”

Slim took his hand and pulled him up. “You are one silly-looking son-of-a-bitch.” he said.

Just then a boy burst out of a nearby shop with something in his hands. The shop owner came running out shaking his fist and shouting, “Come back, you little shit!”

When the boy saw Kuzoo and Slim he stopped dead in his tracks. Kuzoo snorted and wiggled and wobbled, and Slim flapped his ears into quite a frenzy, and started barking. The boy dropped his bag of loot to the ground and bent over laughing.

“Ho ho ho, ha ha ha,” he crowed.

Slim reached down and picked up the bag of chips and handed it back to the shop owner. “Here you go.”

The shop owner shouted at the boy, “Your mom is going to hear about this!”

Kuzoo and Slim walked on together. “We make a pretty good team.” Kuzoo said. Slim smiled and purred like a kitten. It was as if they had known each other their  whole lives. Side by side, this crime-fighting duo walked off into the sunset, and the world would never be the same.